I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
