when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
