5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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