1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
