Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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