I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
