just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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