Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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