i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
