You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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