He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
