Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
