if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
