Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
