New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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