Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
no you cant smoke seaweed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
