Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
