if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
