dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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