so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
