I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
