Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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