He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize