smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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