I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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