return my video game
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
