At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
