omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
