and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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