there's paper in my vomit.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i believe in u and ur pee
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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