Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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