y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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