i permit you to call me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
