so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
