You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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