God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
