I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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