Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
