apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
