He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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