Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
please don't ironically join a cult
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