He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My pussy is not your playground.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize