4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize