I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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