she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize