When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
