i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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