She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
