Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
