Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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