So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
