Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
