Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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