I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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