You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
