At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Oh god it's open bar.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
