Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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