fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
