somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
