so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
