Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
